What’s the use of unrequited love? II

bb15, Linz
May 2012

It all started with meeting him.
I really thought we were born for each other.
He doubted, I knew he did.
I was deeply in love, but he did not know how to handle it.
After too many ups and downs, hesitations, unspoken words and uncertainties it all finished.

During the period of our relationship I was keeping a blog-diary where I shared my moods, emotions and experiences. I also recorded the songs I was listening to, or a poem which would match the mood of this day. In total, the blog covered about 120 entries (days) within 9 months. This writing activity helped me keep a track of the affair and comforted me in the frustration and the anxiety which were shadowing my affection to him. After the affair ended I decided to visualize the moods in the blog entries, so I can see the saddest moments, the mood swings, and the good days, too. Instead of making a visual representation, I am engaging the data/the feelings into something usable/edible.

Every successful relationship consists of several crucial ingredients like understanding, communication, compromises etc. In the same manner, the preparation of a good cake depends on the quality and the quantity of each one of the ingredients. Therefore, I take a recipe for muffins and translate the data of the blog into the ingredients. Each muffin represents a day of the blog-diary, and is therefore an illustration of my state on this particular day.

This performance is an attempt to reveal the set of emotions of that time. I want to mix, bake and offer them to others, so I can let my feelings finally go. It is my catharsis, my purification ritual.

I would like to invite you to help me digest and leave the taste of this relationship behind.
I want to warn you, though, it might not be delicious.

Tabakfabrik, Linz
November, 2012